May 2012
97 posts
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“With most people on Saturday Night Live, interviewers would always say, and I...”
– Ana Gasteyer - The Nerdist Podcast (via reno-sweeney)
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I saw this bumper sticker on my way to school this...
starvedforjustice:
inthecityintherain:
This is laughable. It’s like they’re not even trying anymore.
Oh Christians. Seriously, reload your stupidity guns, you’re shooting blanks now
*everybody knows that people who are pro-choice just want to sit in hospitals and murder babies*
Considering this was written by a Christian, don’t you think they would have thought up something more...
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This feels like the time of night when I feel compelled to say offensive, blatantly antagonistic shit on Facebook to get attention.
Sometimes the Internet feels like screaming into the wind. I need a therapist.
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“Turn! Turn! Turn!” - The Byrds
...
Hey, remember that time that Leonardo DiCaprio...
That’s every one of his films, by the way.
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queerslibrary asked: ahhh, you cried too?! I felt so dumb for crying but. ugh, it's SNL! I don't know, people say it sucks now compared to decades past but somehow NBC gets some really incredible people and I love them, even if I don't love all the sketches.
Mary J. Beige - (n.) When a white girl thinks she...
As in, “Stop trying to rap Nicki’s ‘Monster’ verse. You’re such a Mary J. Beige.”
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My dad just followed me into the bathroom talking about golfers on the Senior PGA, and he KEPT TALKING ABOUT IT EVEN AFTER I SAT ON THE TOILET. I was like, “If you say ‘Fred Couples’ one more time, I will not be able to piss ever again.”
What are boundaries?
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You know that person you follow and you never have...
Or is that just a “me” problem?
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At this point in my life, nothing good happens. It’s all just something new I’ll have to eventually tell a therapist.
MY KINGDOM FOR A BITCHING PAIR OF TASSEL LOAFERS!
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
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You know you're close to your sister when you both...
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Why is there this sudden new argument that we should be focusing on the economy and not gay rights in the upcoming election? First of all, that’s an incredibly easy position for straight people to argue. But mostly, I just wonder why we can’t focus on both issues. In the words of that little girl who shills for taco shells, “why can’t we have both?”
This post is super personal and just something I’ve been thinking about, so I’m going to ramble for a bit. Trigger warning for eating disorders? Maybe.[[MORE]]
Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve been listening to a bunch of “WTF with Marc Maron” podcasts. The fact that comedians have demons shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but I’m surprised at the...
lolalldayandnight:
Amy Poehler’s laugh is part...
The House has passed the GOP's Violence Against...
newsweek:
Just happened. So what bill is that? “House Democrats say the Republican-authored law would raise requirements to prove domestic violence and sexual assault, erase confidentiality protections for immigrant women and alert abusers when their victims seek help. They say it would eliminate a path to citizenship for immigrant victims who cooperate with police and cut “culturally competent...
“Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”....”
– (via buildingmosaicsoutoflife)
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The WTF with Marc Maron podcast is the best thing...
I listened to both of the Louis C.K. episodes and decided that I admire the shit out of him as an artist and comedian. And now, OMG, I’m listening to the Maria Bamford interview. She is basically my favorite person.
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"Person Creates ‘Trayvon Martin’ Gun Range Targets...
from AddictingInfo.org:
Only a few months have passed since Trayvon Martin was mercilessly gunned down by George Zimmerman in a gated neighborhood in Florida. Conservatives have defended the shooting as an act of self-defense even though Trayvon was unarmed and being chased by his killer. Trayvon was wearing a hoodie and carrying a bag of Skittles and an iced tea. George Zimmerman was carrying...
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Taylor Swift hugs a dude with a swastika shirt....
dionthesocialist:
Motherfuckers are really going to believe that Taylor Swift didn’t know what a swastika was.
Really.
That’s her actual response.
And people will actually believe it.
Because she’s a cute white girl and it’s totally believable that she’s innocent enough to not know what’s going on around, because there’s no way someone as pretty, white, and blonde as her would ever do...
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where dem loud ass White Feminists now that...
strugglingtobeheard:
Charlie Sheen has been given another TV show. And a Fiat commercial. Both of which he flaunts his blatant disrespect of women by asking in the fiat commercial, what do i get for good behavior? (inferring to his house arrest) to the model he is pressed on. And then in his new TV show, which i forget the name of, something about men, bullshit. He says, EVERYBODY DESERVES A...
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Finally watched the "Parks and Recreation" finale...
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likewaterforwine asked: I may have interpreted it wrong, but it just sounded as though you were saying women aren't at risk for emotional or psychological distress after an abortion. Sometimes it seems like that argument is used by the same individuals who say abortion is a difficult decision (which of course it is). But, I do think women can suffer distress after an abortion, just as some suffer distress after...
Everyone should know that it's my birfday today.
I’m 24, so the end is near. Let’s make it a good one.